ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
