Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
