she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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