Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
