There was a lot of him and a little penis
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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