We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
