ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she looked like the before picture.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
