I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
