You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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