problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
