She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
