im drinking this country out of the recession.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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