my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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