My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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