So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Randomize
