We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
