i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
