Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So apparently I’m into choking now
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
