I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
