yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
