You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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