I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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