bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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