Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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