so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
