i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
