i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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