But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
