Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
its liver damage thursday
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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