me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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