I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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