And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
