apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
