It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
