My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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