I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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