it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
