SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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