If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
