I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
