PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
