OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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