Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
