This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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