I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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