i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
