I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
soo... how was my night?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
