Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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