I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
my liver is dry heaving
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
