SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
