Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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