i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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