He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
